Faithful are the wounds of a friend (who corrects out of love and concern). But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful (because they serve his hidden agenda). Proverbs 27v6
Our Heavenly Father is the perfect parent! His love and concern for us is complete. His desire for His children is that they are raised to be mature godly sons and daughters working with hearts full of love, joy and peace with Him in the family business of proclaiming the Kingdom of God.
He uses His Word to teach and correct us, but He also uses other believers to point out where we are going astray, and that can be a very painful experience for both parties.
It takes courage to confront a friend or loved one with the truth. We risk being hurt, slandered and abandoned. The worst enemy we face may often have been the closet friend we had.
No one likes to be challenged on their behavior or attitude. I know I don’t. There rises up within me the Geta Thunberg angry phrase “How dare you!”
How dare you point out my flaws.
How dare you challenge my beliefs.
How dare you say that I am wrong.
Who do you think you are to tell me what to believe or do?
Yet the Bible tells us that when a Christian friend or loved one wounds us, it is out of love and concern for our eternal well -being.
A true friend will challenge us to think about what we are doing and base our decisions on The Word of God. When our hearts are set on following our own desires instead of God’s, that can be like a punch in the gut, or a slap in the face. But before we reject them and exclude them from our lives, we would be wise to consider the following:
Have they a track record of loving concern for us?
Have them demonstrated over a long period of time that they want the best for us?
Have they gone out of their way to assist us in any way they can, sacrificing time, effort and finance to help out?
Those are the actions of a true friend, and a true friend will hurt us, only to help us.
Contrast this with the kisses of the enemy – someone who only wants what’s best for them.
They will flatter you and charm you and say that everything is Ok, even though deep down you know that it’s not.
They will try to bind you to them by appealing to your desire to be loved and cherished by them, appearing to be so selfless and loving, when really, they are just drawing you into a trap.
Their concern for you is really just a cover for concern for themselves and getting what they want from you, rather than what’s best for you.
Scripture warns us again and again to be careful who our friends are and who we “yoke” ourselves with.
A true friend will hurt you in the hope that you will avoid the pitfall that they can see looming. A false friend will let you carry on doing what you are doing and the end result will be devasting, and perhaps cause eternal harm to your soul.
I would rather live with the discomfort of a true friend’s rebuke than the deceptive kisses of one who has only their own selfish goals in mind in befriending me.
All that glitters is not gold, so don’t be deceived by false flattery. The devil appears as an angel of light, so check out the credentials of anyone who seeks to befriend and influence you. Accept the surgeon’s scalpel rather than the advice of quack doctors who will fleece you of your true destiny in Christ for their own personal gain.
